Your inner self is… your true self that we are often unaware of. We tend to identify with our public identity instead. Ideally these should match but often they don’t.
All Therapeutic Life Coaching and work that I engage in involves understanding and befriending yourself in a positive and constructive manner so that you become aware of the relationship that you have with yourself.
Often we are very hard on ourselves, criticising ourselves for the fact that we should be brighter, cleverer, richer, slimmer, fitter, faster. You name it, people find a way to beat themselves up about it.
This means that we often fail to nurture ourselves or show the goodwill and compassion to ourselves that we would happily show to others (or maybe are unable to extend to anyone). It’s only when we understand what we are doing that we can begin to change it.
Yet in other areas we often over indulge ourselves. We behave in ways that are unhelpful and destructive because we don’t know what else to do. Like children with no parents we may let ourselves be totally unmanageable, staying up too late, eating and drinking too much, spending too much and doing things that we know will cause problems up ahead. Often we let other people treat us badly too because we don’t know how to do it differently.
Working with me can be about building a new relationship with yourself in a new way. It can be about recognising that you’ve broken yourself into conflicting parts that aren’t all pulling in the same direction. That with each step you take in one direction, a part of you is going the opposite way. I can help you to bring yourself back into a fully functioning integrated whole person so that all of your energies and efforts work together.
We can release blocks, let go of fears, harness your strengths and take you where you want to go with your life by you understanding and supporting your inner self.
It is a power that you will then have for life.
We all need our feelings.
Feelings are our natural guidance system telling us when things are working for us and when they are not. We know when something feels good or right and when it doesn’t, or ideally we do.
The trouble is that modern culture and our modern way of living has led us to mess around with our feelings. We push down, deny or are unaware of feelings we don’t judge as appropriate for the time or the task at hand.
Everyone’s had the experience of being bored at work or in someone else’s company yet it didn’t feel appropriate to express or act upon this. Or when something negative or unpleasant has happened and we try to just forget about it and move on. For a time it may work. We can rise above our feelings or distract ourselves from them for long enough, if they don’t suit us or they aren’t convenient. But…we can only do this for so long and in certain ways before the denied or suppressed feelings start causing us problems.
If we don’t listen to and attend to our feelings then we end up not meeting our true needs. Unmet needs can make us really stressed and unhappy and lead us to ineffective and unhelpful ways of living our lives that in turn can lead to more serious future problems.
We may try to drown our sorrows in alcohol or escape them through ‘recreational’ mind-altering drugs, through food, gambling, shopping, work, sex etc. but the relief we feel is only temporary and always illusory. Or we end up feeling stressed, anxious, panicked, depressed, sleepless, exhausted or overwhelmed.
We tend to learn about emotions from our family norms and our culture. If we try to ‘keep our cool’ by suppressing our anger or denying our sadness, we build up pressure inside ourselves. We can end up stressed, ill, heading for a heart attack. Or we may rage and bully others to the point that people don’t want to be around us or we do something socially unacceptable.
We need to be in touch with our troubled feelings and to do something about them…
The use of Life coaching, EFT Tapping, NLP & Time Line Therapy® and Hypnosis allows you to identify your feelings, release which feelings are past their sell by date and instead develop a different understanding about the role of emotions in our life.
When we sort out our feelings they can go back to simply being a positive guidance system focus in our lives, helping us to live life in the best way that works for us… feeling good about life and yourself
You have a conscious mind and an unconscious mind.
Your conscious mind can think of your name or address right now, simply because you wish it to.
Your unconscious mind was the place where that information was stored before you brought it to your attention just now. It is also where the information will return to when you put your conscious attention onto something new and forget all about it, until you need it again.
Some information stored in our unconscious mind is easy to get at (like remembering your address) while other information may harder to bring to mind (like what you experienced on a certain day that you have forgotten all about).
In Therapeutic Life Coaching, as we talk you may talk begin to making connections and remembering things that you may not have known were impacting you. This information has been resting out of your awareness, in your unconscious mind.
Some information you hold in your unconscious mind will be having an influence on you without you having any idea that it’s back there running the show, controlling what you do, how you react, what you think and feel, without you even knowing it.
Because it’s having a strong hidden influence you’ll find that you can’t seem to outwit it with conscious willpower alone, which is usually why people end up here, are on this website, looking for help.
How does change happen?
Some habits are really easy to change. yet when this doesn’t happen easily, it’s likely to be because something in your unconscious mind is running your behaviours, thoughts or feelings without you being able to influence it consciously.
Ironically your unconscious can only work to protect you, that’s it’s only job, if we try holding our breath indefinitely – it won’t let us. But the good news is that it is more than happy to cooperate when it realises that you want to make a lasting change for the better.
Good therapeutic Life Coaching involves getting to the control centre in your unconscious and creating shifts in the most effective way possible for you, while feeling comfortable and safe while you’re doing it.
That’s what I do with you. You’re in the pilot seat and I’m the experienced guide and navigator.
The days of having to talk things over endlessly to try to make deep, lasting change and the days of having to go back through all of the feelings attached to the experiences, beliefs and thoughts in your unconscious are now gone.
Modern Therapeutic Life Coaching uses approaches and techniques that can produce amazing results that just weren’t possible previously. So I’m here to help you to make the right subtle or profound shifts in your unconscious, so that you can have the life that you want in an easy and powerful way.
Your Inner Wisdom
People are often amazed at the insight and wisdom that they have available inside of themselves. Connecting with your Inner Wisdom lets you discover what’s really going on for you beneath the intellectualising and control that we so easily get tangled up in. I work with people to discover their authentic self and their true wants, wishes and dreams. Often they’ve been operating from a misunderstanding as they weren’t in touch with their truth that lives within their heart.
I can help you to begin to access this part of yourself if you have been disconnected or dissociated from it.
Your Spirituality
If you wish to, we can make a more conscious connection to your spirituality or your sense of a Higher Universal Power or a meaningful order to the Universe.
Or we can clarify what you believe in and what you want to believe in. I have a good deal of experience in working to free clients of any childhood (or adult) indoctrination or negative feelings or beliefs about spirituality that are getting in their way.
Connecting with your spirituality more fully does not have to focus on any specific religion or teachings, rather the focus is on your connection to a greater unified force outside of and/or within yourself.
It has been proven that those people with a positive spiritual orientation tend to cope better in life, are more resilient with life’s ups and downs and find life more meaningful and satisfying, regardless of where their beliefs stem from.
I’m happy to work with you in this area, should you wish to go there.
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